Read Sober Psychonaut disclaimer for people in sobriety exploring psychedelic medicine.
The day is finally here! To prepare my mind and body for my first ketamine treatment, I took it easy yesterday, physically as well as dietarily.
As instructed in my Mindbloom kit, enjoyed a leisurely a.m. wake-up this morning and took a nice shower, all important to “set and setting” in preparation for psychedelic experiences. I got in my comfies, poured a small cup of decaf (no caffeine, no food), took the anti-nausea medication that was sent to me by Mindbloom, and eased into my ketamine experience.
Billie, my guide, has been greet, texting me this past week to see how to support me. My main challenge: managing my expectations vs. setting intention. There’s so much I want out of the experience. What if I’m sitting there and just don’t get it? Probably common to feel this way, so I realize it’s important to let that go and just let the medicine do what it does and let things go the way they go.
I want to experience:
- FREEDOM OF SELF
- HAPPINESS
- JOY
- EASE
- CONFIDENCE
- FAITH
- CONNECTION
- ENERGY
Is that too much to ask?
When I think about living I get happy and sad all at once. I used to just get sad…overwhelmed with grief…so it’s better than it was.
Thus my intention for my first ketamine for depression therapy session: LOVE LIVING (not the same as love my life)
Over the next couple of days, I’ll keep journaling and checking in with myself. I’m not going to get attached to loving living being a “thing,” necessarily.
Meeting my ketamine therapy guide
I prepped my Mindbloom box.
☑️Headphones, check.
☑️Candles, check.
☑️Blood pressure cuff, check.
☑️Medicine, check.
☑️Journal, pen and eye mask. Check.
Fruit juice for medicine after-taste I would pick up on the way over to my mom’s place where I decided I’d feel more comfortable for the first go-round⏤guaranteed to have no kids, cats or other disturbances.
After lighting the candles and arranging my things, I went for one last pee before setting myself up on my mom’s bed and calling in on the Zoom link to connect with Billie, my guide.
She was younger than I thought she would be, cute, with long, curly dark hair, but mature, grounded, confident—and I had specifically chosen her based on her Mindbloom bio.
Billie asked me how my morning had gone and walked through how the process would go. Parts of it were a little scripted, as though she was reading from a guidebook, but I figured the guides all have to do that to some extent, in order to cover the bases.
My friend Tuey whom I’d chosen as my Peer Treatment Monitor (a requirement for all ketamine therapy sessions) was included for part of it so he would know when to check in on me.
- Once I took the medicine and put on the headphones and eye mask, he would set a timer for 60 minutes and then check in on me every 15 minutes to see how I was doing.
- At the end of 60 minutes he would touch my shoulder to rouse me and I would start to come back to the room.
- After that I would journal a bit and reconnect with Billie on Zoom at 12:30 pm.
Round-trip: About two hours for the whole appointment.
